Sunday, August 31, 2008

circle of friends, circle of life.

now i have just realized i did not mentioned at all about the coolest and funniest people around to hang out with. people i have known for almost five years and we have been through a lot as a friend. dari zaman bodo bodo yg suke pakai pink from head to toe then jalan 7 orang ramai-ramai kat foodcourt midval, zaman ponteng sekolah and kutuk setiap manusia yg lalu depan kteorg. we had a funny nickname almost for every single person at the school. pakcik canteen pun bole jadi bahan. the 4 of us are not among the favourite at the school where we always had a fight with other students and even the teachers said we are among the "wanted" one. ape ingat kteorg angelina jolie ke?

there is this one group of guy where we always had a fight with. kat tusyen je mesti kene ejek ngan dieorg macam-macam nama keluar. the funny thing is now they are our lepak-lepak friends. did you guys imagined how hatred our feelings towards them, we actually planned to use the "hari raya fireworks" to bom this particular guy's house at night. okie it is just a plan alrite?
however we were actually very determined to implement the plan but then we still have the good brain to re-think we were not the terrorist type?

the most interesting subject when we were in highschool was agama islam because the uztaz was so one of a kind as well as garang sngt sngt. He always gave this one particular fierce look exactly like the
tyra banks-fierce-look for the photoshoot.(okie merepek)
handphone besar mcm public phone and he carried the james bond briefcase around anywhere. there was one time, i tried to take out my retainer from my teeth at the class, my friends were laughing at me and then he assumed i was talking to my friends. he came straight to our table.
"tujuk tangan" he said then dier ambi pembaris teros ketok tangan ella.
ouchhhhhhhhhh sakit. nevertheless, i dont care about the pain, the public humilation was like the social-suicide!!!! malu glerrrrr kot dah la ada my cute-crush infront of me, blush blush. after dat, my friends were so pissed -off at the uztaz and they tried to explain what was actually happened. 7 people stood up for me terharuuuu sampai uztaz tu said soorry to me. haha.

they are the one who make me laugh untill my stomache hurts, and people at the maple will like"dieorg nie dtg dari mana? orang kampung mana nie dtg kl? haha. wey ala rindu korgggggg i want the "brotherhood" to stay together forever. imagined how crazy we are, we call each other with a guy's name. fieza said kter nie sebenarnyer lelaki for no particular reason kan?

sorry guys for not mentioned anything bout you guys at my blog untill fieza said
"tahula ada blog sampai nama kiteorg langsung tak adaa".

FIEZA the crazy wacky one, KYRIE the artistic hippy one AND ILLI the wild outgoing yet sweet one- THEY ARE MY PARTNERS IN CRIME.

So when is our next date?
foosball, karaoke, wayang "3D", sesat 7 daerah, maple, roadtrip yg x penah jadik, main layang-layang kat kepong, ice-skating, paling cikai pun lepak dlm kete kakak aku depan umah kyrie?
hahahahha i miss the stupid things we always do.

i love u all to bits!

cut out the emo geek.

at this one point of life, i know my ugliest weakness. the imperfection. the flaws. the negative part of me.

"ella ialah seeorang yg bercakap kasar dan suka menyakitkan hati orang lain tanpa disedari dan langsung tidak mempunyai niat jahat kepada orang itu."

it is just i've been so honest what i felt inside and i made a fool statemenet towards to people i love. many phases of life, many people had turned against me. i'm a teribble friend, sister, daughter and a person. in the process of changing. i will insyallah. so do the others, we all try to change to a better person as nobody is perfect. don't blame other people for what had happened. yes, thing happened for a reason.


okie emo is so not my thing. i've been acted strange lately. where is the bubbly, perangai kebudak-budakan, like-to-laugh-so-loud, cakap kuat, happy go lucky ella? where did she hide? bring me the old ella hahaha. okie xnak jiwang jiwang karat dah, may sebab period kot haha.

happy 19th wonderful birthday iylia roslan!!!

31th august 2008 , the awesome roomate you are.


i want to sing u birthday song, a special one dedicated to you (ehem ehem try to use the mariah carey voice...lalala)

happy burpday to you, burpppppppppppp

happy burpday to you, burppppppppp

happy burpday to I-Y-L-I-A


(kenyang selepas berbuka puasa)

sorry for wishing u late in my blog and also apologize for not being able to celebrate on the birthday day and the present might be late because i've been busy went back to kl try to settle things down about you knowww kan? if u read this, someone got a present from the secret admirer who gave things but do-not-bother to write his own name. aiyayaya love can be very complicated haha. sygla roomate-ku! (phrase terbaik dis sem kan iylia?)



Saturday, August 30, 2008

it's my fault.

so sorry for the last blog i'd posted which i have already deleted it.
it might sounds harsh but i did not meant anything.
it is just that i got carried away with the emotion that i shud not have.
friendship is falling apart, no i don't want at all.
one thing, people always turn against me because ella jenis yg cakap lepas n kasar?
eventho i did not meant what i said.

p.s: abis la lepas nie my blog is not private anymore kan emma n aman?
everything that i blogged from now onwards will be kecoh kecoh satu rumah.
inilah melodi or e-news baru korg. huahuahuahua.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

convofair + convosquare = fair & square!

convofair + convosquare = fair & square!

convofair is the name of the event.
convosquare is the place of the event.
i dunno where the heck the fair & square come from.

okie can u please ignore the tittle? it doesn't make sense at all, it is just a stupid joke dat makes people think "what the hell is she thinking"?haha. okie the clock strikes 9.21, i'm having a computer organization test tomorrw, there is nasi ayam ayamas tapau on the table, messy lecture notes all over the room, and i am blogging for god sake? haha ella oh ella ko nie blogging at the wrong time. but i really do want to blog rite NOW. i am dying to blog rite nowww. puh-lease can u let me? omg it sounds so poyo.
today is the last day of convofair and i am pretty sure M.NASIR is performing right now. i hesitated to go due to the upcoming tests and assignment. however, the heart say" nak pegi nak pegi" but the brain say "weyh ko test esok kan". so, i follow what the "more intelligent" part of body-so uh-uh not going. sorry m.nasir!

nie hahh nak habaq mai makcik/pakcik sumer,

finally, i did the kayaking!


A word when u change the order of the letter, u still get the same word. okie i know it is way out of the topic. but heyy ella the-so-called boring person was finally did something different in her life. At first, my friend (thank u so much for accompany me!) and i went down to the v4 field to try the archery. futhermore, iylia my roomate was there as she was one of the comittee convofair to help the archery booth.(who know we might play for free ke....but sadly no) goshhh it was so hott we both sweat likee people who just take their shower-all wet wet. there were not many people there but we had to wait for half an hour to get our turn. so we think we shud stick to the original plan-kayak.

so we arrived at the lake. it was so weird to see there is no people at all at the lake from the far. well we saw the kayak was there, where were the people? we were wonderin" ade ke tak kayak nie? ke kter je yg semangat?". kteorg dah gelak gelak dah takot xde org, thank god ada jugak org jaga kayakk. so we filled up our names, wore the safety jacket(it look so ridicilous in it bcoz it is so big) and we were all set for kayaking! abg convofair tu explain lil bit about kayak n how to use the safety jacket.

i asked him" is there any possibilities of kayak terbalik?"

he answered" insyallah"

well fineeeeee.

i sat on the front since the heavier one suppose to sit at the back. obvisiouly la kan the tough-guy dok blakang? haha sooryy! so, we row row row the boat gently down the stream merilly merilly bla blaaaa. okie it was not a boat, it was kayaking so change the lyrics a lil bit. we kayak like a pro! haha we kayak almost the whole lake la kann and there was comel pokok in the middle of the lake. the lonely-pokok.

so the experiece of kayaking was challenging and tiring and exciting! nak kayuh tu penat sket but my friends did the most part haha i buat buat penat kayuh jeeee betol tak? there is one new theory we found out, when u kayak, u will get a muscle hand! hehe. in the end, my jeans was all wettttttttt.......basah lencunn! moral of the story, do not wear jeans to kayaking.(haha merepek)

what else is interesting about the convo fair? well i give 2 thumbs up for the food. we had dunkin donut, pizzahut, a&w, ayamas, sup gearbox, ICE-BLENDED( sedap sedap credits to the ice-blender maker kan? kata nanti nak suh ella jual the next convofair haha). one more thing, we had the fish spa! menarikk but i i did not try la as i already tried it at midval.(the fishes at midval are way way bigger). Enough about the food( hidup untuk makan!). let's move on about the entertainment we had in the convofair. for the first show, we had nabil performed on stagee. did i mentioned i am a big fan of raja lawak 2? x baik punyeeeee haha. of course i was looking foward for the show. i went there but unfortunately, it rained so heavilyy. kteorg terkaandas dlm khemah for quite a time. then after an hour in the tent, we decided to go back coz it still rained. rugi seyh x dpt tgk one of my fren on the stagee haha. well i went back to study for my computer organization test. well it made sense kann?

by the time i finished this blog, the convofair was already ended. no more loud music i could hear at my room comes from the convosquare. i have to wait another year for the excitement....on that time i will be the 2nd year student already. bler dgr cam sedih laaa cz another fews year, we are the one who will actually attend the graduation day. after that, no more convofair, no more v3, no more lecture,no more dc++, no more irc, no more utp. most of all, i'll leaving my friends at utp and soon entering the more university life. a long way to go la ella!

yeah yeah dis week i'm going back to kl to see my family. rindu bangat seyhhhh!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

take a sneak peek about me

i'm a left of center
i'm a little out of tune
some say i paranormal
i just bend their spoon
who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed up world

-the lyric best decribed me for the time being .(you get me from michelle branch)

yess my brain is not in the right place and my mood is all over the place. i having ups and down of life. but this time i have a companion to went nuts-my roomate! sumpah kteorg x betul semalamm and she kept hitting mee ouch! conpirm the taekwando outfit on the 2nd floor belongs to iylia but da outfit is missing?
we laughed for no particular jokes and we kept on laughingg. after few hours, we turned out to be normal again. well half-normal la i should said because we still talk nonsence. oh syg la roomate!
then, we both make a research (nope nope not thru internet since the internet is *tuttt* slow, yes the one big factor lead to abnormal behavior among us two). A research about how to be the most abnormal and boring person ever- ZUHAILA ELMA BT ZULKEFLI.

  1. i like to nag/merengek/complaining almost everything kott. i merengek everyday about my short fringe, about regret 4 not wearin my retainer(after braces), about stupid parking at v3. i am expert at merengek like a baby!

  2. a girl with a very enough sleep eventho i am in understress or not finishin my work, sleep is the priority. trust me i dun read the last chapter for my final exam the next day, i still slept well but woke up like i'm the person who did not sleep for a whole week. and then go nagging bout dat at the lecture. go back to the 1st point haha.

  3. a girl who like to tapau food at night but then i don't eat the food. i eat not because of the stomache, it is because i felt better when i eat or am going to eat so i won't worry to much about my weight and being super-skinny.

  4. don't give a damn about people saying" owh ella is the tallest person i've ever met" i am proud! don't blame me, blame the genetics.

  5. a girl who want to say "hye!" to people she knows but sumtimes too shy shy cat haha. so don't get me wrong i'm not snobbish okie?

  6. a girl who create lots of idea but failed to implement the ideas.

  7. a girl who likes to say "dangggggg!" in a very soft-spoken way. kan eli? haha

  8. a girl who loves the mirror and loves to look at the miroor. i hve 3 mirrors at my roommm. i even love to look at my laptop webcam and then snapp a pic after dat! (then post it at my own blog which eli always teased about-biar laaa hehe)

  9. a girl who very lack of willpower. i easily get distracted by anything even the single sound. i said i want to study at 8am, bla bla bla then i found it was already 11am and i did not even touch the book. then i went sleep. weyhh camna nak deanlist cik kak oi?

  10. a girl who don't know how much she spend everymonth. i dun even know how much the full tank of my car(malu seyh kat soaring the eagle ada nanyer).

well is not dat hard to be the abnormal person kann? in the way i stated my self above, i might sounds a lil bit uncontented about myself but i'm actually liking myself to the fullest. if u don't like urself, then who else? ur cat? ur neighbour i-dunno-his-name? self-love is the best foundation. eventho i am the worst person u know, this is the only person i knoww. i like being abnormal or different, who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed up world? you are who you are, don't change for other people. (but i might change to a better person) they just cannot accept u r way cooler and way different then they are.

convo fair are comingg... wait it is already here. good luck to everyone involved esp my roomate iylia. i'll be the most supportive fan of convo fair alrite.

the longest survey i've ever done in my entire life.

1.What is your hair color?


2.Where was your default picture taken?
dewan sri hendon putrajaya.

3.What's your middle name(s)?
ella "intelligent" elma. haha.

4.Your current relationship status?
proudly single.

5.Does your crush like you back?
well he used to now not sure.

6.What is your current mood?

happily excited and very looking foward for my vacation soon. :-)

7.Favorite color?
black is beautiful right?

8.What makes you happy?
food!! -hidup untuk makan.
9.If you could go back in time and change something, what?

spend time with my late brother for every second in the world.

10.If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
fly like a bird.

11.Ever had a near death experience?

12.What's the name of the song stuck in ur head?
sempurna by andra and the backbones.

13.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
dunno and dun care. i shud be only my day haha.

14.When was the last time you cried?

few weeks ago thinkin of how i miss my brother and looking at erina.

15.If you could have one super power what would it be?
listen to what people think.

16.What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
their sense of humour.

17.What's your biggest secret?

if i have so, i wouldn't tell here. yes i have very deep dark one.

18.When was the last time you lied?

no no no don't lie- fergie.

19.Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
of courseeee. i'm 5 years old girl at heart!

20.What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
spritzer mineral water.

21.What's your favorite smell?
the smell of my home sweet home.

22.If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?

23.When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
dun remember. not a fan of hugging.

24.Have you ever been kissed in the rain?

25.What are you thinking about right now?

the looking-foward vacation...can't wait!

26.What should you be doing?
studyy oh tidakk!

27.What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
unsatisfied people.

28.Do you like working in the yard?
yess i like nature.

29.If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?

can't think of one.

30.Do you act differently around your crush?
acting cool and bubbly.

31.Spell your name without "a":
ZUHIL ELM (like a guy name kan?)

32.What's your favorite number?

33.What are you listening to right now?
the sounds of raining.

34.Are you happy with your life right now?
yes i am, indeed. syukur ke hadrat illahi.

35.What was/is your favorite subject in school?

36.Do you shop at LV/Prada/Chanel?

nopyyy but soon after i get a well-paid job.

37.How do you get/make money?
family and petronas montly scholars.

38.Are you outgoing?

39.Do you like Big Mac?
hell yeahh yummyy!

40.Do you own big sunglasses?
well not dat huge like nicole richie wore.

41.Where do you wish you were right now?
my next vacation destination.

42.Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
yessss n but he is my friend je okiee.

43.Do you believe in God?
ALLAH yg maha esa.

44.Do you know how to swim?
not dat goood but good thing is i don't drown.

45.Do you like roller coasters?

46.Do you own a bike?
vroom vroom rempitt...takde pun!

47.Do you believe in love at first sight?
never experienced before so noppy.

48.Do believe at "first impressions lasts"?
what u see is not what u get.

49.How many times have you had your heartbroken?


50.Have you ever broke up with someone and wished you hadn't?

yes n i dun regret anything. thing happened for a reason.

51.Are you in love?

52.Have you ever liked someone with a g/f-b/f?
yess but i don't pursuing for it.

53.Is your self-esteem extremely low?


54.Do you believe in yourself?
well i put my best effort in it but failed to do so.

55.Do you wish you could be someone else?

yes, zuhaila elma with a better self-esteem!

56.Hair color?
brown but my roots is getting darker.


the song tattoos by jordan sparks, yes i have.

59.Straight hair or curly?
the messy straight hair.

60.Hugged someone you didn't know?
well i hugged unknown people's teddy bear... does it counts?

61.Been on the phone until the sun came up?

62.Laughed so hard you peed in your pants ?
for god heaven sake!

63.Person you hung out with?
family, friends and the people worth-knowing.

64.Last thing someone said to you?

pukol 4 gi dobi.

65.Last place visited?
v4 cafe.

66.Do you like surveys?
biasa je laaa.
67.What kind of soap do you use?
68.Do you have mental breakdowns?
nope.....yet! i'm having tons of assingment now haha

p.s: thank you nuraini suhaili for tagging me this survey. terharuuuu becoz u r da 1st one who willing to tag me.

the neutral beauty kan eli? cayalahh eli ayat baru.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

the best you never had.

sometimes u can't get everything that u asked for.
sometimes u feel you are not good enough for everything.
sometimes u feel why i am not that person?
sometimes when u woke up, u feel u are nobody in this world.
i am the one who take things seriously.
if i don't get what i am keen for, i'm so weak at being tolerant for uncertainty.
Ella please face the fact, this is the reality!

thank u che sarah my lovey-dovey friend for being there to make things better.
thank you iylia for making me laugh eventho u like to kick me on the ass-haha!
even thank you to some people who actually understand what i've been through.

the place where i choose to be.

hello everyone! today i am so in the mood for telling you a story about a small peaceful town which has almost every happiness u can asked for. well it is not the place i've been stayin now. uh-uh definetly not kuala lumpur. it is a place where i had been living for 7 years of happiness and it is far different from the busy city of kuala lumpur.
PRESENTING......the place is the one and only TAIPING the truly perak. hehe
mesti korang x percaya kann? i was born in johor bahru but my childhood life was in Taiping and currently i live in Kuala Lumpur. i started my standard one and finished my standard 5 at taiping. Our childhood life is definitely the moment we cherished every second of it. when we were kids , we don't care all the bruises we got for playing at the outside and this was the time where our skin had been burned by the sun-yes my mom used to call me anak India mana sesat nie.
hell yeahhh we had fun and we did not care at all-there is nothing to be worry about! it was all occurred at the peaceful town of taipingg.

where i should start about my superb-life at taiping? to start it off, my primary school was SRK convent kota located just behind the Legend Inn hotel. the only 4 star hotel in taiping kott. the school is too small where it is only fits 4 classes for every standard. we don't even have the compound area and the surprising part is we don't have canteen tables.
Do u guys know where did we eat? on the floor! menarik kan mkn laksa kat lantai kene bongkok2 badan? the place where we eat(or we called canteen without tables) is the same place where we had our assembly every monday. well for my 5 years attending that school, i did not complaint much because my friends and i were like "x kesah la janji skola gempak". the SMK convent kota is much more interesting than the primary school which situated just beside it.
i don't quite remember the history of smk convent kota, as far as i concerned the building was been used by the Christian sisters something and sum sort of hospital kot.
kat sana ada byk patung-patung church dan ada satu lorong rahsia ke bwh tanah that the students are not allowed to enter. kat lorong bawah tanah tu ade nampak byk lilin-lilin. one of the bilik pun had been used as the bilik mayat time zaman british dulu. well the secondary school is lot bigger than the primary one and the building pattern is like the british building. it was quite scary to see so many angel statues around the school. byk la jugak dgr cerita hantu yg menakutkan. the experience of studying at the girl school is much more interesting because we are very competitive of being the teacher's pet. pagi pagi je semangat tunggu depan kete cikgu nak angkat bag.(gler kaki bodek) well it is different from my school in kl, sumer sempoi jeee. ko angkat la beg sendiri cikgu yeee.

taiping is a really small town i must said. we only drive 5 minutes to the supermarket and minus the traffic jam. there is no traffic jam at all! pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak. trust me u won't get lost at taiping. i know almost everyone( well half of everyone) i bumped into in the super-market especially in the Taiping Jaya Supermarket. Taiping jaya supermarket is like the-KLCC for people in taiping. Whenever we want to buy groceries’ or pretty clothes or toys, we shopped there! Taiping jaya has everything that we asked for, don't u ever undersstimate taiping jaya tau. eventho the size of klcc is like triple bigger than the Taiping Jaya, it was actually once to be our shopping-paradise. melompat-lompat seronok bler mamy ajak pegi taiping jaya jee tros ingat nak beli colour pensel Luna or crayon or buku biodota(it used to be a trend tau dulu). padahal kat rumah bertimbun-timbun kotak pensel warna.
if now, we will dress to impress or i shall say i will likely to dress nicely la if we want to go Midvall or Pavillion ke...when i was in taiping, bangun tido pun dah leh siap tros pegi Taiping Jaya Mall. it was so different from now but i was enjoying every second of it!!

one of the best part of taiping that makes me proud as the taiping-ian, it is the spectacular scenery and the green-ish environment of taman tasik taiping. it is breath-takingg! lawa glerrrrr. u can't find a place where the trees are almost more than 200 years kot, the trees are actually look like the canopies where its shaded along the road in taman tasik. even the lake is big enuff where u guys can ride like the cycling-vheicles on the lake too. did i mention the famous-amos zoo taiping? i don't need to mention more, just go and feel the excitement by urselves. nak tahu tak maser i was still in taiping, bler malam je time weekends kat taman tasik tu ader byk maknyah and pondans. hahahahaha nasi goreng sutun!
then we have the bukit larut, air-terjun, muzium yg berhantu, the oldest train station in malaysia, the wonderful old buildings and also mrsm taiping.
seronok duduk taiping rasa macam kat countryside even org dier pun super-friendly.
seronok ckp loghat perakk. "hang ni awat tak habaq?"

when i was in taiping, eating is the other best part u can find heree. u can eat anything from pasembor blakang st-george highschool to apambalik larut matang to the best kuey teow(dolly) everr u can eat at the cheapest price. serious kat taiping mkn gler murah compare to kl. my mom always complaint" ishhh ikan kat taiping dah la segar-bugar, murah lak tu. kat kl, ikan mata dah merah sumer"
ade satu restoran tu nama dier Restoran Assalamualaikum! menarik gler kecik je kedai dier tp mmg like almost eveyweek my family went there. pastu kuey teow dolly dier mmg satu Malaysia dah kenal kott. mmg slurppppp terbaik! u guys shud try it mmg A++.

dulu bler petang je, my brother always take me a ride around taiping riding gler makan angin!

now i live in kuala lumpur. if you are asking which place is better to live in? It’s pretty hard to answer it because i like it both.
the important is my family. they are the reason which one is a better place to live in. however, i am definetly miss taipingg. i should go there more often as i am studying at utp tronoh kan?
it only takes around one hour drive x jauhh punn.

awwwww my comel school. rinduuuuuuuuuuu.

so kawan kawan bler mahu menjejak kaki ke taiping?
i will be ur the most coolest, cutest and awesome tour guide ever!

Friday, August 8, 2008

the haunted castle.

there is nothing much to blog today. all i want to say is i am grateful for having a wonderful friends at UTP. thank you jugak to the person who slalu bw belanja makan malam okie. :-)


Wednesday, August 6, 2008


for god heaven sake what the heck is his problem?

bongok! shit! the F word. stupid-ass! busuk! pendek! busuk lagi! dah la dtg negara org!

hello sunshinee.

mind the languange puh-lease. i really need to express my anger if not you will be seing me running aroung V3 jerit jerit mcm org gilak pegang penyapu nak ketok si bangla tu.

then u guys will be like" eh x kenal tu bwn kwn kiteorg". who to blame?

the busuk-programming lab-instructor.

last tuesday, nuraini suhaili, che sarah dan maisarah went for our first programming lab for this sem. eventhough, we were not that eager or keen to go to the class(not-a-fan of programming) but still we managed to arrived 15 minutes early. semangat bak kata che sarah.

as usual we were sitting to each other. so did the other cliques like last semester. however this time around, there were not many guys. rinduuuu pulak kan. so it could be difficult to ask around since they are the one who expert in programming. but the good thing is we can put extra-effort to do the programming by our own without asking people.

the suprising part was we managed to compile all of the programming exercises. and YES i did it by ownn. if i felt i might be wrong, i asked my other three friends and we might need to discuss a little bit about the new codes that we learnt since the code is slightly different from the last semester. i bet there is not a crime kan? sangat menyakitkan hati dan timbul perasaan tidak puas hati dan perasan meluat membuak-buak mcm air mendidih dan rasa mcm nak ambil penyapu bedekatan untuk ketok ketok kepala si lab instructor tu. do u know what did he said?

"i saw u four girls have no progress compared to others. you are not good in programming. you should not discuss with each other. do you guys programming it by yourself?" he said.

we four ignored the busuk-programming-lab-instruktor and what the fish he said. we didnt bothered to answer that stupid question because we were busy proramming things(by our own! don't u see it with ur two eyes?)
Today is thursday, we were having our 2nd lab of the week. today might be a better than the previous one. hell nooooooooooooooooooooo! do u know what did he said AGAIN?

"you are not good in programming. you guys have no future in programming. you are weak in this things you should read more on chapter 1 and 2. you guys like to help each other. no good no gooooood. " he said it LOUD.

no goooood kepala lutut dier. bler dier compile ella punyer boleh jeee. even lab-instruktor lain siap cakap congratulations u done it well. dier je x abis-abis nak kutuk kiteorg. sakitnyer hatiiiiiiiiiii. when i asked him back"why did u said we are not good but the fact is we can compile
it and even do it by ourselves?" the he replied nothing. baboon betol la mamat nie!

a son, a brother, a father.

this is the hardest part to write. To tell the world what is actually been burried inside ur heart is nothing more than complicated. It is a story when u just can't tell on the right time,to a right person, without tears and sadness.

i felt lost.
i felt numb.
i felt empty.
when the sadness is out of control, i felt nothing like a person who don't have a felling at all.
i find it hard to cry now.
i felt worst.

there is no need to be question if semua ini adalah takdir tuhan. Allah S.W.T. yang menentukan segalanya.

i miss being your youngest sister, abg pis.
i miss when u always come out to your two only sisters' room and said
" ishhh segarr bilik korg bole tido tak kat sini mlm nie?"
i miss it when u ask "comel tak erina? ke korg ckp dier comel sbb erina ni ank abg and anak sedara korg?"
i miss it when quote" nanti kter dah besar kita bukak restoran nak? manyak untung."
i miss when always said how stubborn am i n kept saying" ella nie tahu bergaya je lebih"
i miss your smile and jokes.
i miss how emma and i like to get on your last nerves esp dinner time."abg pis cedok nasi,abg pis tuang air, abg ammikan ikan"
the saddest part, i definetly miss youuu when you are not here anymore with ur daughter erina aisyah, your family and your youngest stubborn sister.

i am so regret for not being there when he was not well. i was busy preparing for my university preparation applying all the university to get in. i did not even went to visit him some of the dayy. it was so frustated to be there but not being able to talk and makes jokes with him because the doctor not allowed the visitors to come inside the room.
the risk of infections was too high. yes i know but you can't even allowed the family members?
however, i was happy enough when the doctors finally allowed but we have to wear a mask so the chances of infection was slim to none.
the most saddest part i cannot forget was i promised to make him an album of erina contained pictures of what erina is doing in her everydaylife without having her father to watch him.
unfortunately, i failed to do so. i've been busy attending driving classes and all but i know it was not an excuses for that.
i kept telling myselves thateh xpelaaa i still have time to do all the good thing for him because i know he is going to be alright and i was so sure he is going to lead a normal life again.
u never told us how terrible the chemotherapy was and u said everything was going to be fine but the truth is not.
we put a lot of faith and we do all the best we can to help you. well i should know earlier, leukemia is a silent killer. kalau seseorang pakar doctor paling bertauliah di dunia sekalipun bercakap the chances is slim, ella tetap yakin bersungguh-sungguh yg abg pis akan sembuh.

i could not accept it, i couldn't even think to accept it at that time.

There is no such thing as having the perfect life. well if you do then u must not realized you are actually missing sumthing in ur proud life. perhaps, all good thing comes to an end. god loves the person u loved the most more than we do espcially a person who has a big heart. i take it and swallow the pain as the obstacles of life. however, i'm still thankful for all the happiness occur in this very short life. well a baby girl named erina asiyah has make everyone life changes.

brother, you are always in my heart. i'm smiling whenever i think the kindness of you. finally, it shows that i have move on with my life and having you in our heart have make our life more meaningful.

al-fatihah to Rafizul Elmi Bt Zulkefli.

you are the world to me.
your daddy must be proud to see how adorable and clever 2 years old girl you are!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

random talk.

today i don't feel like blogging much bcoz i feel
tired, sleepy,hungry, not in the mood, missing my family, still not having my roomate
and the main part is i have tons of assignment that need to be done todayy...perhaps.
yet i'm still bloging jugak kan? ishh ckp mcm "kelly ng" betol. huhu

i want to say a whole bunch of thank you to

  • nuradeera= pengacau ym yg setia and we do have da same taste in clothing. F21 rocks!

  • nuraini suhaili= the one who inspires me to do my own blog.

  • wan kamalhadi= my dramates in foundation. yeah we are the last minutes group kan?

  • lynntermizi= iylia's ee fren yg sungguh comel.

  • che sarah= my next frequent blog-stalker. haha

thanks u guys for being one of the earliest person to notice me having a new blog. sorry for having too many wrong spelling as well as broken english. one thing f.y.i, lagu sempurna mmg sah hakmilik ella ye? haha perah-santan.

on the the sympony fest night, saya merasakan diri saya sangat sangat kecil(tiny-itsy-bitsy) di dalam chancellor hall itu kerana they are many beautiful talented person performed on the stage. i was actually astonished as well as gaped in shock to entertainingly watch the student of utp playing all kinds of music instrument,singing and dancing. the night was colourful of music and performing arts. eventhough i was not in the stage, i was particurlarly proud to see there are bunch of my friends upthere on the stage.

this was the best part- TENGKU my energetic-super-friendly friends has a full of melody voice. she performed indeed very well. actually, that was my first time listen to her voice singing. the dresses are stunningly beautiful. ala-ala princess. two thumb up! credits for the utp virtuoso too.(eli tersengeh-sengeh menonton-too cute!)

i want to say what a great performance to anyone i know who performed at the sympony fest. thanks you for succesfully entertained my heart and soul on the night. i was having a great time!

p.s: how lucky to be born talented kan kan kan?

Friday, August 1, 2008


Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indahkau membuat diriku
akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahkuKukan slalu memikirkan dirimu

Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku

Takkan mampu menghadapi semuaHanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku

Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupkuLengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku

Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku



morning breezeeeee hello sunrise!

okie today is saturday and it is amazing a person can actually woke up at 6.00 on the weekends? perform subuh prayer,gosok gigi,drink nestum and now i'm all set for a jog!
hehehe semangat naak tgk sunrise.(due to suhaili's picture at ym it was so wonderful)
so i decided to have one too with my comel bubbly girlfriends :
  • che sarah,
  • nuraini suhaili,
  • maisarah,
  • nadhirah,

  • too bad iylia was not here.

che sarah and me were wearing completely proper sports entire. it shows how determined we are , sungguh la semangat kami berdua sudah membuat bising dah ketawa riang pada pukol 6.45 di v3b sambil menunggu my comel bubbly friends. nadhirah, nuraini suhaili and mysarah were just wearing casual look.
i was wonderin "do we look like semangat or they r just sempoi?"
che sarah"xpe kter kan nak jogging"
ella elma"yeah riteeeee jogging tp naik kereta nadhirah ke tasek"

i know when i was a kid, i always wanted to see with my own two big eys to watch sunrise. i want to feel the quite peaceful morning, to taste the fresh morning air, to astonish the amazing creation by Allah S.W.T. kononyer berjiwang romantic la?
well i have the opportunity now and the wonderful thing is i get to watch it with my comel bubbly friends. next mission is to watch with the special one. :-)
well as usual we snapped pictures and gelak gelak mcm org gilakkk.

i am actually blogging?

hello i am so new hereee n it feels so bizzare to having a diary that people can actually read it? well there goes by the name of BLOG kan?
It is a wonderful friday today. I woke up not-so-early this morning since i slept not-so-late lastnight. pretty much i have been left alone in UTP for the time being because all of my favaourite person on earth are actually leaving meee.

IYLIA THE KICK-ASS ROOMATE - she went back to johor yesterday and i can see straight from her face, she is the happiest person on earth. she is very very close to her family and it is so nice to see nowadays, teenagers are still bond with their family. because i know some people are not. well i'm glad i've been calling my parents twice a day. infact, we had been asked this kind of question in soaring the eagle(program for petronas scholar).
"how many times u called ur parents?"
some people not even called their parentsonceweek?
(gaped in shock)
well who am i to judge kan?

SARA THE LOVEY-DOVEY FRIEND- How could u leave me sara? haha. well she just went out to ipoh with her s0-called bestfriend yg sngt sngt comel. it is so comel to see how bond they are as a bestfriend i'm so jeolousss well i should have one. hehe.
sara dont forget my double cheese burger set!
if not i'll be hearing my stomach doing their own
sympony fest.

so, they are my TWO favourite person whom actually not hereee noww. I am friggin bored bored bored untill i come out with an idea.

that is me, webcamwhoring while blogging. kurang siuman kan?

that is what u got if u been stuck alonee at room.