i am a confused eater.

Haihhh badan nie asyik nak sakit je, tension pulak jadik. Demam, batuk, flu, flame, block nose, muntah, sakit perut, it all comes in package! Get one disease, you get all free.
Sampai tgk makanan pun dah xbole masuk. Why oh why? Xnak jd kurus kering coz dah naturally born with it(haha sempat lg nak banggakan diri).

I need to regain my strength, give me back my healthy body you friggin health-snatcher!

a month ago kot, I was super-not well. Muntah2 and everything sumer so I went to the doctor. First, I was so confidently thought it was a food-poisoning, what else la kan?
Then the doctor said it was not. It was actually because of ur stomach did not contain any solid food or anything, mcm tin kosong yg ada angin je. no wonder you’d been vomiting non stop for few day. I was like what the fish? Yesterday, I vomited again.

From that time being, I realized I did not care at all about my health for all this while. Like what stated at the title, I am the confused eater. i am putting way too much presuure on myself and isn't giving my body all the nutrients it needs. i need to listen to my tum and think about whether i am hungry or eating for the sake of it. i need to be more concious. I need to concern more on my health. Mamy dah berbuih mulut suh take vitamin c la, pharmaton, madu every morning, vitamin e.p.o, drink lot of water and byk lagi la. I ignored it all, teruk kan? Tu la jadinyer x dgr ckp emak. Now you have to accept your own consequences.

Health is wealth? So nak byk duit, take care of ur health hehe!

note to self.

Dear ella,

You have to stop pretending, you have to stop acting cool. Why it is always has to be the other person in most of the conversations. Say something before it’s too late. Wait, it is too late already, nothing is more comfortable than the friend zone. Play it cool, and then everything will turn out to be fine, I hope.

From,
Your other half of mind.