you took me by suprise.

when u think back with more deeply and with a heart of concerned, sometimes the person who are NOT close to you are actually the one who are going to help when u are having ups and down of life. i'm saying this thing not because it has something to do with my life, well sort of sket sket je.

i don't know la maybe im the one who hoping or asking too much from people, i rely on people, I burden some people sometimes. but mistakes had teach me a lot. dulu dulu kala, i was very dependant on people.i relied on people too much till i had annoyed some people. i was snobbish n childish, thank god i learnt from the mistake and i learn to be more indepedant.
At one point, i had FINALLY realized i'm the "ngada childish" type of person when i was in soaring the eagle program. thank you STE! all of sudden after getting through all da module, i was like "shitttt! gler ella ni x berdikari, relying on people even in small matters".
mayb because i was the youngest one in the family consequently i was always askin help from my brothers and sister since i was small. pretyy much nothing i had done by myself kot.

but back to the main point, what i try to deliver here is sometimes people u close to are not very helpful compare to people who has nothing to do with u are actually very much helpful and giving an effort to help. sigh. well certain people not all.
so, i am try my best not be on dat particular group coz i know i might be dat person if i dun watch myself and not be aware of it. Note to self, it is not about being-selfish bt it is about to prove yourself u can do it.

okie cut out all this emo-emo stuff, u know it is not my thing? all this kinda heart-session stuff which i'm so not good at it, mmg x qualify langsung jadi peer helper, fail!

back to the daily routines, i'm so stressed up due to shit of worklads! it takes any seconds left to make me explode, kebabbabooommm. haha xnak la nanti meletup who is goin to pick up da pieces? merepek merepek.
seriously my level of stress is beyond the point already. i waat to burst into tears to let it all out eveything inside but i can't drop even a tears la, airmata xmo kluar coz dah lama x nanges kannn.
kerja oh kerja kenapa bertimbunn?

• hse assignment


• oop test 2(tues)


• database test 2(wed)


• finance test 2(thurs)


• submit database portfolio and group project


• finance presentation


• oop coding presentation

now i know how difficult life can be and now i know why people jump-off from the 21st floor building. hahaha well my life is sort-of dat hard okieee but i'm not goin to jumpe off. Tu keje org xde otak je. paling cikai if stress pun i will shout at my pillow untill i can't breathe nemore since i stuck my face at the pillow. mereng marang skapel tol.

did u know if i am entering my stress-zone due to of workloads, i started to miss the person i love. i need someone to talk to when im all stress-up. that is the reason i'm out of credit in this few days coz i've been calling my mom, emma, da whole family, soon to call fieza n illi-my laughing box. i even miss someone who i can't call,who i can't meet, a person who is gone. the one who never fails to inspire me, u r always in my heart no matter im in stress im happy or im sad. still, you are remembered.

i'm doing this blog in the middle of studying object-oriented programming, now u know why i write this very-long boring post blog? blame programming, haihh ella mmg xde jodoh la ngan programming. susah tol nak ngorat programming, xdpt xdpt! last night, apek n i were looking at the star and we were trying our best to count the stars at the sky which was seem endlessly. i was hoping a shooting star to make a wish. if there is one shooting star, apek asked "what is ur wish?"

straightaway i answered without hesitation " i want to get a deanlist!". tgk berkobar kobar tau jawab, puh-lease puh-lease i need one deanlist to make my self and my parents proud. atleast they feel worth it spent ringit-ringit malaysia to her lovely spoilt-brat daughter. well, atleast i dun ask for ferrari. hehe sorry b.

"catch a falling star n put in ur pocket never let it fade way"

hehe feel like singing dat song. comelllllll.

(due to my status at ym, it stated "stress up bcoz of workloads". in da middle of writing this post. then ade la sorg budak comel nie tego kt ym.

BUZZ!!!

adeera lightofnur: jangan stress Ella

adeera lightofnur: Happy Happy ada pen warna warna okaay !

adeera lightofnur: BTW Adeera tgk dkt mph smlm, harga kita nyer pen tu 42 hengget

adeera lightofnur: we're lucky to dapat yg murah !

zuhaila elma: hehe thanks adeera!

zuhaila elma: naseb baik ada pen warna2 to cheer me up

zuhaila elma: nak post kan blog la!

to adeera and her roomate-suhaili,

tima kaceh 4 accompany me all da way to v5 at night just to buy pen warna-warni. we singgah v4 and in the end, beli kat v3 sudeyh. cun cun cun we were so happy to find out the pen warna-warni came out newly freshed from the box. jerit kegembiraan haha! even abg jaga kedai tu pelik. he asked "urgent ke?". "xla semangat untuk buat notes je".

thanks darlings 4 giving me the determination to study n write notes!

from ur pen warna-warni-partner,

ella.

my very precious pen warna-warni! =)

murah murah belila at v3!